Bacterial conjugation is an important evolutionary process that enables bacteria to acquire new genes, and to rapidly adapt to new environments. It is a major mechanism by which bacteria acquire resistance to antimicrobials and is therefore of significant concern to global health and wellbeing. Conjugation occurs via the unidirectional transfer of DNA from a donor cell to a recipient cell in a manner that is dependent on cell-to-cell contact. Although the role of the donor cell in conjugation is well characterised, the function of the recipient remains undefined. Here, we demonstrate that disruption of surface structures on the recipient cell modulates the transfer frequency of a derivative of the conjugative plasmid RP4. Using electron microscopy, we show that recipient cell surface structures can block intimate contact between the donor and recipient and confirm with fluorescent microscopy that DNA transfer is highly reduced in the presence of these structures, despite close proximity of the donor and recipient cell. Lastly, using transcriptomic profiling we observed that in the absence of these surface structures, genes controlling conjugation in the RP4-plasmid show increased expression, suggesting that recipient-dependent signalling occurs which triggers conjugation, and that this signal can be inhibited by the recipient. Our findings indicate that recipient cell surface structures determine the outcome of conjugation and have implications for controlling the spread of AMR genes by conjugation.